Lordy, what an emotional day I had, all related to work: getting swamped with projects because the other custom framer called in sick and saying goodbye to one of my best friends, who’s retiring in order to focus on his art. I’ll miss Herbert. He was very much like the laid-back, favorite uncle type, and I really enjoyed his company for close to ten years at the shop. I wish him all the luck in his endeavors, and I hope he sells a lot of his work (Herbert’s a painter). I gave him a hug and was happy for him when we parted ways, but things didn’t really sink in till I was driving home this evening. I still get teary-eyed whenever I think about him as I type this entry, in fact.
Another thing regarding his retirement that hit home was the fact that he’s now free to work on his paintings. Sure, he still receives an annuity from his previous employers to cover his bills and daily upkeep, but I’m just bummed as all heck that I can’t quit my day job and write full-time. I’ve been feeling the need more and more lately, especially now that I’m growing more confident in my bike riding, and I’d love to have more time to spend keeping my fitness up in addition to puttering around the house and giving it a thorough cleaning, etc., and, yep, above all, lots of time to write.
Oh, man, what I’d give to be able to write full-time. I used to think that I shouldn’t do that because I need those interactions with the staff, and I’m lucky that I get along really well with everyone and that I sincerely like them. But I guess I’m reaching that point when I’m slowly falling out of love with my work, and I’m getting more and more distracted by my life at home. Or what I’d love to be my life at home, anyway.
And why in heck do I blame April for my angst? Let’s just say that this month has been chock-full of angst from day one. Whether it’s about family or work or writing – the mental and emotional inner drama hasn’t let up, and I don’t think I’m doing a particularly stellar job dealing with it. I hope that things improve in May because this ain’t fun by a long shot, and I’m tired of being tired (on several levels). Well, we’ve got one more weekend in April to put up with, and I hope that weekend goes by quickly, so I can welcome May into my reality.